The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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