You made me cry and you don't even care
I've blown a few things in my day
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
