we made out on top of his cat.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
