i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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