im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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