so that wasnt chicken after all
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
