she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
