drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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