My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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