the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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