so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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