but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
