I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
