His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
