its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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