We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
