I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
