By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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