If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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