my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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