my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
