i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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