We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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