I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
