when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
pray to the hookup gods
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize