I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
