I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
