I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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