I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
