Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she pinky promised me she was 18
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
