Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
