Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
