I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
