you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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