i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
