I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
