I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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