Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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