Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
