yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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