hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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