I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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