I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
