Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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