oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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