Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
