I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
