he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
