she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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