whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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